Today I’ve let my mind go to remembering 2 years ago, that’s dangerous because I can get stuck there. There is a lot of sadness in those memories and there is a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes I think about how much Michael has missed, graduation, turning 18, driving, and friends – it is sad but then I look at how far he’s come and how God is with him. Yesterday we watched something on tv about time travel, I asked him if he’d like to go back and change the events that led him to where he is now. He pretty emphatically responded NO. I even asked him a second time still his response was no. So, I asked him, do you like where you are now, do you want to get better. He responded Yes. I asked, do you just think you’re where you are supposed to be? His response again was yes, I asked do you want to get better – I admit I was a little worried with his responses to this point – Yes he responded, he wants to get better. So, you want to get better but you’re okay with everything – again, yes, he responded. There is a song I used to hear a lot – “I have decided to follow Jesus” That’s what we have, a decision, Michael, you, me, we all have a decision to make. If we say we can’t decide or we won’t decide then we already have. We choose, we decide to follow him, or to run from him. I have decided to follow him.
I just shake my head in wonder. This wasn’t an unusual conversation with Michael. Michael most always seems and indicates that he’s okay, he’s expecting God to heal him, he’s waiting on that and he’s patient. He’s more patient than I am most of the time. I’m pretty proud of him, especially when you stop and think that at one point he wasn’t patient, he was completely impatient and ready to quit this life. God is awesome. Yeah if I had the chance to change everything I admit I would, that’s probably why I don’t have the chance. God is God, I don’t expect to be able to understand him or his ways, to really know what he values. I look for more, I want to know him more but mostly I’m just in awe of how he is God. I thank him for all he’s been! I pray that at some point Michael will be able to speak his story to you, to me, to others and I pray that through his story people will come to decide to follow Jesus.
Thanks for checking in!